The "Realm" of Possibilities

If you've been reading my content anywhere for some time, you know I take a lot of inspiration from my everyday life. Well, this post uses the recent, unexpected, and tragic death of my mother to break down what is in the realm of possibilities...for strategic planning and business continuity purposes.

I started out my career by preaching how much business continuity was like estate planning. I have also stated with respect to business continuity planning that I think an 80% solution is attainable but 100% is nearly impossible. My mother had done estate planning - first in 2007 with my father and then again in 2023, three years after he died. We were older and wiser at that point, having learned some things from the administration of my father's estate (and learned more about tax strategies). It's wasn't close to a 100% solution because there was no "notice" she was dying any time soon so there were a lot of unanswered questions.

I had said that my mother's death was so hard on me because it wasn't in the realm of possibilities. If she was having a surgery, it would have been in the realm of possibilities (remote or not, there is always a risk, especially as one ages, that surgeries can have complications). My father's death was shocking since it wasn't "time" yet - his kidney issues had him going to dialysis three times a week, but he wasn't hospitalized. It was still in the realm of possibilities because he was on clinical dialysis. My mother was just living her life. She had gone grocery shopping the day before. She bought a new comforter for "my" bed three days earlier and she couldn't wait for me to see the next time I went home for the holidays.

As I drove up to NYC from Asheville to attend her services and collect her dog, which is now my dog, I listened to The Indifferent Stars Above: The Harrowing Saga of the Donner Party. One line really stood out: Death is the rule; life is the exception. Yes.

I mulled that over. Death is the rule; life is the exception. The will to live and personal strength determined who was the exception in the Donner Party. Death is the rule; life is the exception. My mother was 78. Death is the rule; life is the exception. It was, in fact, in the realm of possibilities she would die: she was 78. The how, though, was a gamble.

The rule versus the exception. That is similar to "it's not a matter of if; it's a matter of when"...a disaster will strike; a cyberattack will happen. Are these black swans - the things no one expects or could have predicted? Or the grey rhino - the big obvious threat headed straight for us that is neglected?

How about it doesn't matter?

In all instances you are impacted by an event that will throw you for a loop. Less of a loop the more prepared you are, but you can never be 100% prepared since there just isn't time and it is impractical. Good enough tends to be good enough.

As hard as this is, it would have been 1,000x worse had we not prepared 80% of the way in advance (we would have been able to raise that 80% if she had a steady decline with a certain prognosis). It would have been even harder on my sister (the executor) if I hadn't stood in as the executor of my father's will for my mother. I set my sister up for success when it was her turn since I had no help. But I'm the only one who has done this before, so she is relying heavily on me to do things for and with her. That's why training and exercise are important in business continuity as well: the experienced person does well, the inexperienced need a lot of help. Also, we don't just train one person - we train the whole team.

There are parallels in my life as there is with business continuity. I told my sister various things over the last three years (I oversaw my mother's finances) about things we'd have to think about "when it was time." I learned recently she never paid attention to me during those conversations. I frustratingly asked why she hadn't. "I didn't want to think about it and thought we didn't need to then." This is also why you need buy-in from the team about why what you are doing is important.

You may think you don't need to do business continuity because it's fine, bad things happen to others, or it's not in the realm of possibilities. It isn't fine when you need it and don't have it. Bad things happen to everyone. It is always in the realm of possibilities.